Not the Loudest Person in the Room? An Introvert’s Guide to Being Noticed at Work 

By Sissel Heiberg

Being an introvert at work often involves misunderstandings, and frustrating interactions arising from assumptions about how we prefer to operate. Some experience bias where the loudest voice always wins. But if you’re in a work environment where you’re not getting recognition as a quiet person, there are still steps you can take to be noticed. 

In a perfect world, we’d all have managers advocating on our behalf and who see the value we bring to the team. They’d be aware of their biases – we all hold them – and they’d be a monitoring force in meetings so that those who talk too much don’t always steal the limelight or overpower the rest of the group. In this perfect world, everyone would get airtime, equal recognition for a job well done, and good access to promotions and interesting assignments. Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world, and often it’s up to us, the introverts, to work against or adapt to our environment. Working against the grain doesn’t work, as the career implications can be profound from working in an environment where your behaviour doesn’t align with the corporate culture. Adapting is not a good long-term strategy either, as you’ll find it exhausting over time, and others will see that you’re not being you. So, what to do instead?   

Know your value 

The first step is to know what you add. A quiet and powerful confidence comes from being comfortable with yourself, and not trying to be someone you’re not – it’s a confidence that doesn’t try too hard, and which is happy in its own skin. Interestingly, the quiet leader’s strengths include exactly this; you know what you don’t know and are happy to invite input from others, which means that your decisions are well-rounded, reflective and can be decisive once made. It also happens to make you an excellent leader to develop teams that are proactive and want to contribute, exactly the kind of culture most companies strive for. The more introverts stop worrying about how they come across, the more this inherent skill will shine through. 

All organisations need more of this kind of confidence, and the humility and self-awareness that drives it. We’ve all been in the room when someone who doesn’t say much finally speaks up, and they say something that changes the course of the entire conversation, or they highlight a future downside of a proposed course of action that nobody else has thought about. That’s the person, the quiet leader, on a good day, when they can be themselves and not worry about how much or how little – or when – they speak. Proudly owning those strengths that your introversion brings also enables others to see you in that light. 

Know yourself 

Self-awareness also means knowing your working preferences. If you’re an introvert that prefers to reflect on a topic before a meeting, make sure your diary includes thinking time. If you need to recharge after long discussions, book in a short walk afterwards. Taking control of the environment around you will feel better than being at the mercy of other people’s preferences, and helps you feel calmer. Self-awareness if usually not a big problem for introverts, since we’re so used to looking inward.  

Ask for what you need 

Taking control of your environment also means asking for what you need. Most introverts prefer to prepare ahead of time, so ask for an agenda and a meeting purpose (since a brainstorming session requires different preparation than a decision-making meeting). Ask for papers to be distributed ahead of time, or say that you’d like to provide input in writing. Many of these requests also help everyone else as they make groups more efficient. And remember that up to 50% of the population are introverts, so the things you’re longing for are probably also the secret preferences of many around you.   

Be yourself 

Part of feeling calm and in control is to contribute in ways that feel authentic. You may have been given well-meaning advice to speak early in meetings to make your voice heard, but this only serves to make you overly focused on the act of speaking when you should be listening (another quiet leader strength). Being yourself will enable you to relax and contribute in ways that feel natural; trust that this is enough.  

Explain to others 

When you own the pause, and don’t apologise for wanting it, others will respect your approach. It also helps if you tell them what’s happening if you feel self-conscious that you’ve not said anything for a while; explain that just because you’re not saying anything doesn’t mean there’s nothing going on. Your activity is just currently on the inside. You can say things like: “I’ve listened to you all, and I think that [insert conclusion] …,” “I’m comparing what was said before and [insert your assessment] ….” If you feel put on the spot, you can ask for more time without making others feel like you’re not contributing, such as “I prefer more time to think things through, but here’s where my head is right now” or “This isn’t a fully formed thought, but my gut feel is…”.  

Introverts have the ability to jump ahead in conversation because we’re reflecting while others are talking, so if you only share your conclusion they might not understand. It’s therefore also useful to explain your thought process, which helps bring others along on the reflective journey you’ve been on internally before you spoke up.  

Understand others 

The introvert has a high commitment to accuracy, but not everyone does and it might not always be needed. It’s OK to say, “I need to fact-check this, but I’m 99% sure that X is accurate”. It’s also useful to know that extroverts talk in order to think, which is different to how introverts process information (by thinking first, then talking). This makes it easier to see that the statements extroverts make aren’t necessarily facts, and therefore can be contradicted without upset.  

Being a quiet leader doesn’t mean being silent. Use wisely your moments to talk, be intentional, and be comfortable with your approach – others will see what you add. We’re not the same as extroverts – not better or worse, just different. 

About the Author 

Sissel Heiberg is a quiet leader with close to 20 years of senior leadership experience from global financial services companies including Deutsche Bank, Lloyds Banking Group and Aviva. She is author of new book Quiet Leader: What you can learn from the power of introverts, published by Pearson, which examines the many benefits of introversion in leadership.