No divorce is free of chaos, meaning you’ll almost definitely need help keeping your documents, plans, and finances together. In this post, we’ll show you how to write a divorce agreement and share other important tips that’ll help the whole process run smoothly.
Writing a Fair and Clear Divorce Agreement
A well-written divorce agreement could simplify negotiations, save money, and move everything along faster. Here are seven ways to make your agreement better for every side:
- Use a template: Drafting an agreement with a lawyer adds to your legal costs, but an online template is usually cheap and always quick to set up.
- Add a parenting plan: If children are in the mix, your agreement should look at custody arrangements, visitation plans, and any decision-making powers.
- Disclose all assets: Be honest about your debts, incomes, and assets. Lying here could delay the whole process or may even void the final agreement.
- Use clear language: Never add legal jargon for the sake of it, and work to avoid vague terms such as “as needed.” You must always be specific here.
- Spousal support: You or your spouse might need extra support for now. Outline how much this will be and give specific payment dates and conditions.
- Leave emotions out of it: Don’t shut yourself off, but make sure your emotions aren’t affecting the agreement — this isn’t the time to blame each other.
- Set timelines: Avoid open-ended deadlines and instead give exact dates, such as when you or your spouse must move out or refinance the mortgage.
Keeping Good Documentation
Make sure you have all the relevant paperwork handy, namely:
- Bank statements to prove your assets
- Prenuptial agreements
- Active power of attorney plans
- Deeds to any shared properties
- Joint account statements
- Tax returns
- Last wills and testaments
- Your children’s birth certificates
Any of these documents could become a battleground for your divorce negotiations. Keep digital copies on encrypted cloud storage to both protect them and make them easier for you and your spouse to access at a moment’s notice.
You should also arrange these documents into color-coded binders or digital folders. This way, you can keep all legal correspondence in one place and parenting plans in another. You’ll then find it easier to refer back to these documents mid-discussion.
Tracking Communication
You’ll also have to document your correspondence with your spouse. Anything you say, even in private, could become part of the next negotiation. This also lets you fall back on agreements or compromises they make in writing.
To help with this, keep correspondence via email and text instead of phone calls. If you do talk on the phone, ask to record it.
You should also look at co-parenting apps. These help better center conversations around your children, and if things are particularly hostile between you and your spouse, they may even be necessary for healthy communication going forward.
Creating a Divorce Calendar
You can’t afford to miss any meeting; oversleeping or simply forgetting to attend could even hurt your case. Make notes of every relevant date, including:
- Court hearings
- Mediation sessions
- Lawyer meetings
- Custody exchanges
- Financial disclosures
- Document filing deadlines
- Payment dates
You can use a simple wall calendar or download a planning app. Divorce calendars help in ways beyond simply tracking deadlines and appointments. They also let you prepare for these dates, and even prove you’re on top of things.
Monitoring Your Finances
Divorces are expensive. Even if you save money on the agreement itself, you’ll have to pay your lawyer for every round of negotiations. You’re also transitioning to a single-income life, and you’ll need to make sure you can handle it.
Make a comprehensive monthly budget that includes your salary, alimony, groceries, rent, other fixed expenses, and anything else that’s relevant. You have to try to make child support and any similar payments work with your budget, even if it means sacrifices elsewhere.
If you have any debts under a joint account, you’ll also have to update your creditors about your divorce. It might be worth asking for leniency; not every loan provider will be understanding, but some will.
Looking After Your Mental Health
A divorce can occupy your life or effectively become your life for months, and even amicable ones still take a toll. Consider joining a local divorce support group or seeing a therapist if your budget can stretch that far.
Above all else, let yourself feel whatever you need to. The negotiations might require you to see everything from an objective standpoint, but that’s not healthy all the time. It’s okay to feel upset or overwhelmed by it all.
Final Thoughts
Nobody’s ready for the stress or chaos of a divorce, even if they’re the one who initiated it. With the right approach, good documentation, and a well-written agreement, however, you can make sure the process is as pain-free as possible.
