By Dr. Beau A. Nelson, DBH, LCSW
Just as stress is pervasive and inescapable in our personal and professional lives, we can manage our response to it. Our perspective on stress is vital throughout our life cycle and different roles. It can help us grow and become more resilient.
Some stress can fulfill a positive function. Short-lived stress can be useful for tasks and work and can boost mental performance and improve memory.
The idea is to develop a healthy relationship with stress—a “growth mindset.” What is a growth mindset, and how does one get there? A growth mindset is a way to think about stress, understand the meaning of stress, and use stress for success.
How to Change Your Perspective on Stress
When the tendency is to view all stress as bad, it can be hard to change one’s perspective. Try these suggestions.
View stress as a challenge rather than a threat. This can help you develop a more positive and proactive attitude toward stressors. Successful people cultivate a growth-oriented mindset. They see challenges and stressors as opportunities for learning and development. They focus on solutions rather than dwelling on problems.
Learn from adversity. Rather than avoiding stress, learn from it. Reflect on past experiences, identify lessons learned, and use them to navigate future challenges.
Embrace change. Be open to change and adaptability. Often, growth comes from stepping out of your comfort zone and embracing new experiences.
The Meaning of Stress, Revisited
In other words, a growth mindset views difficult situations as opportunities to learn new insights and aptitudes. Take the area of skill development, for example. Stress offers a chance to acquire new knowledge or master a skill that can provide a sense of accomplishment and more self-confidence.
“What am I missing that I need to master?” “What help do I need to get past a sticking point?” These questions for self-reflection can help you learn what you need, so that you sail through walls, not get stopped by them.
Emotional IQ is another acquirable skill that can be practiced and cultivated during periods of stress. Acknowledge your emotions and recognize and accept your feelings of stress. It’s normal to feel this way when facing challenges.
Denying or suppressing emotions can hinder progress. Cultivate emotional intelligence, which helps with managing one’s emotions and understanding those of others. This will enable you to navigate stressful situations with empathy and composure and have greater self-awareness. For example, being aware of where stress is appropriately coming from means not accumulating it from others or directing it from things that are counterproductive.
How to Use Stress for Success
A growth mindset will use stress as a building block for success, by:
Goal Setting and Problem Solving: Successful people set clear goals and create strategic plans to achieve them. This approach provides structure and direction, reducing the overwhelming feeling that stress can bring. They excel at problem-solving. Instead of getting bogged down by stress, they analyze the situation, gather information, and come up with practical solutions.
Be aware of stress and channel it toward an ordered process, meaningful follow-up, and problem solving, rather than just “oh me, oh my” and negative thinking that paralyzes; take the next step and move forward. Stay focused to maintain a strong work ethic and focus on high-priority tasks. This approach reduces stress caused by multitasking and feeling overwhelmed by too many responsibilities.
Learning from Stressful Situations: Reflect on how you’ve overcome stress in the past. What did you learn? How did you grow? Apply those lessons to your current situation.
“This, too, shall pass” is a favorite maxim. Many careers shift or change because of something we learned when we were up against a new challenge or faced something that we needed to grow from. Any new situation can have the same effect. How many people love public speaking at first? Not many. But the more you do it, it can be a fun and valuable career asset; when we are totally confident, the stress is replaced by excitement—sharing and helping others see ideas and concepts. A powerful tool that can be harnessed rather than feared.
Staying Positive and Resilient: It doesn’t cost anything to be positive rather than negative. Anybody can pick holes in an idea, but only a few can see the promise in something. It doesn’t have to be perfect and not every time at bat is a homerun, but positivity and hopefulness can push us forward and balance stress and anxiety. It may be uncomfortable but make up your mind to face it and get past it onto the next challenge. Cultivate a positive mindset and resilience. Believe in your ability to overcome challenges and remind yourself of your past successes.
Celebrating Small Wins: This is a great way to motivate others, and it works for us as well. Appreciate your own growth: You didn’t get here on luck alone; be a cheerleader for yourself and what you accomplished, no matter how small.
One day you will look back at the bumps in the road and if you moved past them, they will be just points along the journey. Even the monumental failures can be a step forward. For instance, you might have the following realization: “Gee, I guess I am not good at basketball. I missed every shot. I guess I am not going to pin my hopes on being an NBA superstar.” Yet that might also be when you decide, “I am going to study accounting, as I like numbers.”
Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements along the way, no matter how minor. This boosts your confidence and reinforces a sense of accomplishment.
Practicing Self-Care: It all begins with you. Stress can become chronic, affecting our bodies and minds so we are not at our best. Managing stress, riding the wave, and moving forward requires taking care of yourself mentally and physically. Take breaks, engage in activities you enjoy, and prioritize self-care. Managing stress requires maintaining your physical and mental well-being.
A growth mindset doesn’t make stressful situations easy, but it can help us become better versions of ourselves, even in very difficult circumstances. These tools can help.
About the Author
Dr. Beau A. Nelson, DBH, LCSW, is Chief Clinical Officer at the national behavioral health provider FHE Health.
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